


with heavy hearts and open minds

by ruination_fangs



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: (pre- and post-epilogue), F/F, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-11-30 18:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruination_fangs/pseuds/ruination_fangs
Summary: One-shots crossposted from tumblr. Adjusting is never easy, but Tear's not alone anymore.





	1. tear/natalia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tales of Femslash Week Day 6: Celebration

Tear can’t help but feel somewhat out of place in Baticul’s grand ballroom. The room is huge, lit by hundreds of lights and echoing with music, and there are probably more people in it than the entire population of Yulia City. Nobility and aristocrats swirl in front of her, adorned with luxurious ballgowns and finery, decorated with jewels and flowers. They sweep and sway in time to the orchestra with practiced ease, trained for this since birth.

She really should have expected as much for Natalia’s 20th birthday. After a year of troubles, Kimlasca was happy to put the war behind them and celebrate its beloved princess with a glamorous ball. But dances are for nobles, not soldiers. Tear would never have entertained the idea of coming to an event like this if Natalia wasn’t such a good friend, and even then she had her doubts when she received the handwritten invitation.

If there’s one thing Tear knows about Natalia, it’s that she has all the charisma and ability to negotiate appropriate to a diplomat. She met each of Tear’s excuses with an easy solution: her transportation to Baticul arranged, time off from her work in Daath secured, and even a fancy new dress shipped right to her door the week before. It almost felt like Tear’s own birthday, and in the face of such stubborn kindness she couldn’t possibly turn Natalia down.

The orchestra’s piece ends, and a new one starts. Tear sighs. She’s happy to be here for her friend, but even so, she’s not quite sure what she’s  _doing_ here.

She’s just wondering if she should go search for a familiar face when Natalia herself disengages from the crowd around her and heads straight for the wall Tear is loitering against. Tear straightens, relieved but not relaxed. Statesmen and aristocrats have been vying for Natalia’s attention all day; Tear doesn’t envy her her position right now. As such, the two of them have only seen each other in passing since Natalia greeted her earlier.

“Hello, Tear,” she says over the din of the party as she approaches. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Y-Yes,” Tear says. “I’ve never been to such a large event…”

Natalia’s eyes shine in the light from the fixtures above them. “Isn’t it spectacular? This may be the biggest celebration I have been to, as well. I can barely keep up.”

She chuckles and looks out across the dance floor. Tear sips away the last of her drink.

Suddenly Natalia turns back to her and grins. “Did Guy escape?”

“He disappeared a while ago. Women kept asking him to dance…”

Tear’s eyes rove over the room, but it’s hard to make out any specific faces among the ever-moving crowd of dancers. She can’t blame Guy for making an early exit.

Even as she thinks it, Natalia clicks her tongue in disapproval. “So he simply abandoned his beautiful date? The nerve of some men.”

“He’s done more than enough for me already,” Tear says, smiling faintly at the thought. Despite his phobia, Guy was the one who taught her most of the basics of dancing, when he heard that she didn’t know how. It was kind of him to accompany her to an event that he knew would make him uncomfortable, even if he did sort of leave her stranded among strangers here.

Natalia’s eyes soften too. “I know. I must remember to thank him, as well.” Another song ends, and as the new tune starts Natalia suddenly brightens. “How about a dance?”

“A dance?” Tear’s eyes widen, and she pauses. “I-I couldn’t… I mean, you should be dancing with the court officials and…”

“I have already danced with more than enough of them. Besides, it’s  _my_ birthday. I am an adult now, and the heir apparent. I think I am capable of choosing my own partners,” Natalia pronounces somewhat teasingly, and holds up one gloved hand. “If you would?”

“I… Okay.” Tear slips her own hand into Natalia’s and follows her to the dance floor, all too conscious of the bustle of dancers around them. Luckily Natalia stays at the edge of the crowd, turning to place her other hand on Tear’s waist.

Tear still hesitates. “I’m… not very good at this…”

Natalia smiles. “Just follow me.”

She starts to move, and Tear tries to keep up with her. It’s clumsy at best; she manages to step on Natalia’s feet at least twice, even though she keeps her eyes fixed on their shoes for most of the song.

When she looks up, Natalia is watching her. The princess tilts her head. “You’ve gotten taller, haven’t you?”

“Oh… I suppose I have,” Tear responds, noting that she doesn’t have to look up at Natalia at all anymore. Suddenly she feels awfully close to Natalia’s face, and she can feel her cheeks beginning to burn as the music continues.

As she gets more familiar with the rhythmic movements of the dance, Tear focuses less of her attention on putting her feet in the right places, and more noticing the warmth of Natalia’s hand on her waist and the way her clothes sway when she moves.

“Tear,” she says, and Tear looks back to her face. Her voice is just barely audible over the music and general chatter. “I’m glad you came.”

There’s something almost wistful in her eyes, and Tear squeezes her hand a little tighter. It’s been a difficult year, and there’s no telling how long they’ll be waiting. But Natalia’s hands are warm and soft and solid, and somehow Tear knows they’ll be okay.

No matter what happens, they’ll still have each other.


	2. luke/tear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is pretty old, but I'm putting it second for timeline purposes. the prompt was "Don't you ever do that again!"

In all the chaos that followed his return, Tear had expected it would take a while for Luke to come visit her. After all, there’s so much to be done – so many things to clear up and fill in, so many people to inform and reunite with. So she’s pleasantly surprised to find him standing outside her door in Yulia City mere days later, scratching his neck and arguing only halfheartedly when Mieu blurts out that Luke had made it his first priority to see her again.

It’s late afternoon, the sun high enough to be visible over the surrounding walls but low enough to start casting shadows at the edges of the garden. Luke crouches next to a patch of flowers in the center of the grass, where it’s still sunny and moderately warm.

“Are these still all selenias?” he asks.

Tear closes the door to her room and follows him out, glancing back. After several minutes of halting small talk, Teodoro had found some excuse to keep Mieu busy so they could talk in private, but she’s worried they still won’t know what to say. When the initial joy of the reunion wore off, things became kind of awkward, as if neither of them knows where to start, how to pick up where they left off – or maybe even where it  _was_  they left off. 

“Yes,” she answers, walking up to stand beside him. “I meant to plant some other varieties, but I never got around to it. The garden only blooms at night now.”

Luke reaches out a hand to prod at one of the flowers. “Yeah, I remember coming here a few times after the outer lands were lowered. It still feels kinda weird, all bright like this.” He withdraws his hand, but continues to stare at the flower. “But I guess it’s been like that for you for years now, huh? You’ve gotten used to it.”

“A little,” Tear agrees. Truth be told, it’s been hard to adjust. So much changed in so little time, and while she knew she couldn’t cling to the past, it felt like she couldn’t move into the future either. Like she’s been stuck in this liminal place all this time, trapped between warm but obsolete memories and a path so uncertain she’s not sure where to step, waiting for something to push her forward. She thought that something would be Luke’s return, but she’s spent the last few days in restless anticipation and little else.

Her gaze drifts from the flowers to Luke. Maybe he’s changed, too. It’s a little surreal to see him like this, with his hair as long as when they met but his face older, more mature. But when he looks up at her, there’s a familiar softness to his eyes that reassures her, a little, that things aren’t that different. Won’t be that different.

“Wanna sit down?” he asks, patting the grass next to him. As she lowers herself to the ground, Luke shifts out of his crouch to lean back and look up at the sky.

When Tear doesn’t say anything, he goes on, “So, the Order is being reformed, huh? They told me that in Baticul, but no one there knows much of the details.”

“Yes. It’s becoming less militant, thankfully, but there’s still a lot of things to be settled. Tritheim is in charge at the moment, so he assigns most of my duties. It’s mainly intelligence work and sorting out organizational matters.” 

“I see,” Luke says, but the way he scratches his head and narrows his eyes makes her think he doesn’t really. Years ago that might have exasperated her, but now it almost brings a smile to her face. At least he’s trying.

Luke continues, “I don’t know, I’m trying to take in everything going on now, but I just keep thinking about all the things that happened way back then… It doesn’t really feel like it’s been that long for me. But it’s been years for you, so I guess you guys are probably over it…”

A soft breeze shakes the flowers and makes Luke’s hair sway. Tear’s eyes drift over the grass to the monument in the middle of the garden, a little distance away.

“…No,” she says. “Those were very influential times for all of us. We… I still think about it a lot, too.”

“Yeah?” Luke leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I know it’s all in the past now, and I can’t regret it since it turned out all right, but… Even now, I’m still realizing things I didn’t before. So I guess I just wanted to say… I’m sorry? For all the stupid things I did back then, and for the ways I might have hurt you even when I didn’t know it…”

He picks at the grass in front of him. Tear is so wrapped up in her own thoughts that it barely occurs to her to tell him to stop mutilating her garden. After a long pause, she asks, “Do you remember everything that happened before you went to the Tower of Rem?”

“Huh?” Luke glances at her only briefly, then continues to roll a few blades of grass between his fingers. “Yeah, of course. That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. I mean, it was a while ago, so it’s a little hazy, but… it’s hard to forget something like that.”

He lets the grass fall. Something about the way it twists in the wind makes Tear remember with vivid clarity how his hair floated to the ground so many years ago. She digs her fingers into the grass beside her.

“I don’t think you need to apologize anymore. But I meant what I said, you know. That if you chose to go through with it I would never forgive you.”

With her head bowed, her hair drapes over her eyes, making it impossible to see Luke’s face. For a long moment he doesn’t respond. She’s just beginning to worry when he finally says, “…Okay.”

Tear looks up. That response rings painfully familiar.

“…Okay?…”

“Yeah.” Luke shrugs. “I wouldn’t expect you to change your mind. You have reasons for feeling the way you do, so…” Finally he turns away, rubbing one arm. “I mean, it hurts to think that you’re angry at me, but…”

“…I’m not angry,” Tear says. Luke glances at her. “I don’t agree with your choices, but it’s not like I…” The sentence dissolves into a silent sigh and nothing more. She says instead, “I just… don’t want you to ever do it again.”

Her gaze drops again, and she nearly jumps when she feels something touch her hand. Luke’s fingers rest gently over her own, and to her surprise, when she looks up he’s smiling.

“I won’t,” he says, and, quieter, “I promise.”

Tear blinks several times, willing away that telling stinging sensation that prickles around her eyes. “Okay,” she says, and leaves it at that, before her voice threatens to break. 

When she tries to turn her hand over, Luke draws his away, eyes widening suddenly as if he’s afraid he’s made a mistake – but before it can go far Tear catches his palm against hers and holds it there until he relaxes. His lips tilt up again, even as he glances away, face reddening.

Maybe she should tell him. His hand is so warm, and his smile is so soft, she could almost believe right now they could forget the last two years and move on. The separation, the regrets, mulling over pangs of loneliness and a complete lack of a resolution – none of that matters anymore. The need for closure is gone, because there’s nothing to close.

But there’s no need to rush. They'll have time. Of course there’s no telling what tomorrow might bring; there’s a thousand ways to fall apart, even now. But Luke has promised he won’t leave her again, so she’s not worried.

He squeezes her hand softly, still looking determinedly at the flowers instead of her. Tear quietly shifts closer to lean her shoulder against his.

She’s not worried. Luke always keeps his promises.


End file.
